Update

I thought I’d write this partially as an update and partially to think through things. I’ve been living in Germany for two years now (or will be in November). I’ve been honored to help with the refugees and to be apart of what God is doing in the lives of Germans. I have taught English since last year at a language school and also had the opportunity to teach beginner level German to the refugees. I have built friendships and partnerships here that I highly value. I have had some real struggles and real victories while being here. I stayed with some friends for a year sleeping on a pull-out couch and then got my own place last spring. I had to get legal help at one point to stand against someone who was trying to take advantage of me. It’s easy to forget the blessings I have but between the friends and experiences I have and have had I can say I am truly a rich man. I have a motorcycle and a German license. Getting them was no easy feat to accomplish. The more I live the more I think poetry, songs, and honest prayers do a better job of encapsulating life than one size fit all explanations for difficulties, joys, and the unexplainable things of life. Most of the prophets in the old testament don’t come across as mystics delivering a message from a cloud devoid of human experience. I get tired of prophetic messages that many give that have a tinge of control and a hint of a Wizard of Oz type detachment. I still have a burning desire to know Jesus as best as I possibly can during my time on earth. Life can be really really tough sometimes though.

I had my first real formally serious relationship this last summer. I have prayed for this area of my life for a long time. We walked in purity and sought wisdom and council during the process. In the end something was holding me back and some things that she was looking for that are just not who I am brought the relationship to an end. It ended on a respectful note and felt good though disappointing in some ways. I have a peace about it. Next steps in my life in this and other areas can be a little unclear.

I have long desired to finish my degree and there is not a material science program here in Freiburg and I didn’t pass the German test I needed to pass to get into the University here. I love Freiburg, the German language, and adventure. My work has been a needed source of income and good experience too but it’s not a long term solution. There are always different girls that I find interesting and situations I could explore. I was just observing with friends the other day how much I learn about myself and about hearing God’s voice by exploring these situations. I nicknamed one of these girls “the deer” because getting a moment to even talk to her is like trying to get close to a deer in the woods. HA! It’s easy to interpret this difficulty as God saying no but I have since begun to think it may be entirely circumstantial regardless if it is actually a potential or not. I have questioned myself though in this area. I haven’t finished my degree yet and don’t know for sure which way is right in accomplishing that. I love it here but don’t know that I can finish my studies here. I know that most women are looking for stability and while I think that personality-wise I have matured a lot over the years, my studies are a practical issue that stands in the way.

I would like to say once more how rich I am in regards to the friends and family I have. Toby Muck, the Lardy’s, Angel Pham, Misgana, Susie Sachek, Daniel Vosselor, Jessie Ortiz, etc. etc. The people I know and experiences I have had are for some people only wishes. Life can be tough but if you have a relationship with God those things become like the tones on a skillfully played violin. They vibrate at a frequency that shows His love. Thanks for all the prayer and encouragement you’ve given me over the years. My plan is to keep praying for direction and pray that I stay honest in regards to the good and hard things that come.