Ever said or felt "I've waited so long and nothing seems to be happening...."?

I woke up yesterday thinking about how it seems I've been waiting for God's promises so long and they don't seem to be working out. I've had struggles with work stuff and other things that seem to go on. This morning I noticed an anger towards the preaching. The scripture was fine but after thinking about it I realized a bitterness growing in my heart because of delays. I skipped communion as I needed to get my heart right and after getting prayer I had a friend suggest spiritual warfare as the main cause of delays. I prayed with another friend and went home and prayed. I turned on the live stream of the International House of Prayer and this is what they soon began to sing (partial transcript):

Do not worry, or fret because of evil doers

Look at Jesus how he lived in hiddeness

Years and years of obedience in hiddeness

So many years of pursuing your heart

Why do you lead like this

Do not worry or envious of the wicked even though they seem prosperous

Everything is not as it seems

Where you sow you know you will reap

Give it time

You got to give it give it time

No, I’m not in a hurry

I’m looking for obedience not impact

I’m looking for obedience not results

Are You learning to love?

Be patient young man

Be patient young women

Says the Lord

Stay steady, persevere

Patience having it’s perfect work in you

Sometimes waiting produces something nothing else can do

Be patient

Look unto Jesus

Because he waited

I will wait

Consider him who endured such hostility from men

Setting my eyes on Jesus

Help me, help me God

My son do not lean on your own understanding

Trust me, do good

You just keep walking the narrow way and leave the results to me

Just you wait and see

Trust in the Lord and do good

Trust in the Lord, do not quit, do not give in

He’ll take care of the rest

He can see the end from the beginning

He is faithful to complete what he sarted

The kingdom of God is like a seed that has to go down and be invisible for awhile

There is so much going on that you can’t see

Behind the scenes

I know how to lead my sheep

I will lead you well

Trust in me and do well

I am doing things that you would not even believe

You’ve got to trust me

Blessed are those who do not see and yet believe

So much growth going on behind the scenes

There’s a blessing when you don’t give up

There’s a blessing when you don’t give in

Over time you will receive

Reaping fruit for eternity

Do not stop doing good

The fruit will come for us

If you ever hate life or get discouraged in your walk with God don't give up! Keep your heart free from bitterness and trust God. I get it, it's tough. Jesus understands it too. Don't listen to voices that say there's some quick way. This has always been how it's been. Don't give up. There will be fruit. Psalm 73

Update

I thought I’d write this partially as an update and partially to think through things. I’ve been living in Germany for two years now (or will be in November). I’ve been honored to help with the refugees and to be apart of what God is doing in the lives of Germans. I have taught English since last year at a language school and also had the opportunity to teach beginner level German to the refugees. I have built friendships and partnerships here that I highly value. I have had some real struggles and real victories while being here. I stayed with some friends for a year sleeping on a pull-out couch and then got my own place last spring. I had to get legal help at one point to stand against someone who was trying to take advantage of me. It’s easy to forget the blessings I have but between the friends and experiences I have and have had I can say I am truly a rich man. I have a motorcycle and a German license. Getting them was no easy feat to accomplish. The more I live the more I think poetry, songs, and honest prayers do a better job of encapsulating life than one size fit all explanations for difficulties, joys, and the unexplainable things of life. Most of the prophets in the old testament don’t come across as mystics delivering a message from a cloud devoid of human experience. I get tired of prophetic messages that many give that have a tinge of control and a hint of a Wizard of Oz type detachment. I still have a burning desire to know Jesus as best as I possibly can during my time on earth. Life can be really really tough sometimes though.

I had my first real formally serious relationship this last summer. I have prayed for this area of my life for a long time. We walked in purity and sought wisdom and council during the process. In the end something was holding me back and some things that she was looking for that are just not who I am brought the relationship to an end. It ended on a respectful note and felt good though disappointing in some ways. I have a peace about it. Next steps in my life in this and other areas can be a little unclear.

I have long desired to finish my degree and there is not a material science program here in Freiburg and I didn’t pass the German test I needed to pass to get into the University here. I love Freiburg, the German language, and adventure. My work has been a needed source of income and good experience too but it’s not a long term solution. There are always different girls that I find interesting and situations I could explore. I was just observing with friends the other day how much I learn about myself and about hearing God’s voice by exploring these situations. I nicknamed one of these girls “the deer” because getting a moment to even talk to her is like trying to get close to a deer in the woods. HA! It’s easy to interpret this difficulty as God saying no but I have since begun to think it may be entirely circumstantial regardless if it is actually a potential or not. I have questioned myself though in this area. I haven’t finished my degree yet and don’t know for sure which way is right in accomplishing that. I love it here but don’t know that I can finish my studies here. I know that most women are looking for stability and while I think that personality-wise I have matured a lot over the years, my studies are a practical issue that stands in the way.

I would like to say once more how rich I am in regards to the friends and family I have. Toby Muck, the Lardy’s, Angel Pham, Misgana, Susie Sachek, Daniel Vosselor, Jessie Ortiz, etc. etc. The people I know and experiences I have had are for some people only wishes. Life can be tough but if you have a relationship with God those things become like the tones on a skillfully played violin. They vibrate at a frequency that shows His love. Thanks for all the prayer and encouragement you’ve given me over the years. My plan is to keep praying for direction and pray that I stay honest in regards to the good and hard things that come.